Twenty minutes seems like forever...

I had a really good outcome at the Pink game last week, so I was really looking forward to playing in this weeks Pink game. So much so that I asked everyone that was "sort-of-locked" if they were coming to play, and if they could bring friends, so I know a game would happen.

E wanted to head up to AC for the weekend, but told the masses if he could get a full game by Thursday, then it would be business as usual.

We eventually got the game full, and E had the game up and running.

I arrived early, and pretty much figured for the night that I would have two rack buy-ins, just in case (one rack=250.00).

Good thing I planned that way, because I needed it. I burned through my initial rack within the first hour (guess Travis is right most of the time). I had good starting hands, but I either couldnt get there, or I would completely miss the flop. First rack just wasnt going to work for me.

When I was down to my last twenty chips or so, I asked E for my add-on. He obliged, and I finally got my act together. I was ramming and jamming pots(some I had no business in anyways). And I was finally getting the flops that I wanted, and finally getting there, which is half the battle sometimes.

I had one HUGE pot of the night in 7 card stud h/l, HUGE! E said I would ofcourse blog about it, and I guess I am, but I dont remember the specifics, except that I had a low draw, a straight draw, and a flush draw, but I needed runner runner to get one of them. I finished the pot by completing two of the three(low, and flush), to scoop a pot that was capped on pretty much every street if I remember correctly. It was sick, very sick. And saw me break the 1000 mark for the first time ever at the Pink game. And stay there.

Maybe five minutes after I won that pot, I looked at my watch. And I noticed the time was 3;51 in the morning. I was wide awake, so I never realized that it was getting very late (for me). And I decided, since I had a good night, it was time to go home.

E ofcourse told me the rules about making a hit and run, and that I should atleast give the table another twenty minutes of courtesy, especially after a sick hand like that. I decided I could stay another twenty minutes without getting involved in too many large pots, and that I would enjoy my win for the night, play one or two more hands, and go home.

Now, if youve read this blog, or you know me, you know I have this thing about voices in my head. I dont think im crazy, but I am able to converse with my conscience from time to time about decisions im about to make.

If you know me, you know I most certainly always listen to my second voice, almost never my first, even though the first voice is correct almost an uncanny amount of the time.

I played past the twenty minutes, didnt get into too many pots. But eventually just got lost back in the game. And stay another two hours. During that two hours, and I lost back my entire profit for the night, and about fifty of my initial buy in that I had brought previously. I was able to pay E back the board, but it came at the cost of the little profit I did have left.

I vowed that this would never happen again. It is now Sunday morning, and I have done alot of soul searching on how I feel I stack up as a poker player.

My conclusions were not good. And I have come to the decision that I am just not that good of a player to deal with losing money like that. It might not have been so bad if I lost one, two, or three hundred of my profit. No, I could live with that. But losing all of my profit, in almost half the time it took to earn it. Just unfathomable. Unless your insanely unlucky, or a bad poker player.

I dont think im a good poker player to begin with, starting with my first love of No Limit Texas Hold'em. But I know I absolutely suck at all the other variations of poker that I have attempted to play. It just seems lately I have been horrible in all aspects.

I have said I was going to retire from this game before. That lasted very shortly, as I was back at the tables within two weeks, if I remember correctly.

This time though...this time. I truly believe I need to let poker go. I am a bad player, and I cannot think of any improvement Ive made within the past year that would make me think I can become a better player. Right now, I am where I am, and thats not looking good in my eyes.

I remember very few hands ive played, I cant remember too many situations that I have been in with players that ive played with for years now. And I always seem to be the only person at the table who doesnt know what the other player is holding, while people are sitting there laughing, because they know im going to lose my entire stack because im wrong.

And I just cant deal with that.

Who knows, maybe Ill come to my senses, and give poker another try in a few weeks. Maybe Ill go to the pink game next Friday. But the way its looking now, I have no passion for poker at the moment. And I truly feel like playing is a waste of my time, because I need to get lucky to win. I am just not a good enough player to deal with the swings, and after a loss, just dust myself off, and say Ill get em next time. Because I am never sure when I am going to have a winning session. Next time never looks promising.

Maybe this is a goodbye. A goodbye to all the people I have met along the way, all the good people, who love this game, and meet the challenges head on. All the people who treat you like a friend. All the people who get under your skin, and compete just as hard as you do for those chips in the pot. Maybe this is just a silly post I will look back on months or years from now, and laugh at how down in the dumps I felt for that weekend, when I let my winnings slip away because I never listen to myself.

Either way, I tell all of you who read this now, who have had the strange loyalty to actually read my stupid ramblings. If I have given you amusement, your welcome. If you enjoyed my insane jabber, your welcome. If you have come to think of me as a friend, because we have mixed chips on the tables together, your welcome. And thank you. There is too many of you to thank for the entertainment at the poker tables, so I will just say thank you to all of you. And I hope you will remember me as a good man, and a thoughtful fish. Amen.

Strange days...

I have to go to court tomorrow because some retarded woman decided she wanted to key my truck.

My cousin and my sister took my truck to the store one day last summer, and pulled into a parking spot pretty close to the store. It was apparently an open spot, or so they thought. Some lady in a Mercedes rolls down her window and says "very cute"...my cousin asked her if she was talking to him, in turn she replied "real fuckin cute". My cousin tells her sorry if she was waiting on the spot, but it was open and she wasnt moving into it, so he took it. He said he didnt steal the spot, because it was clear to him and my sister that she wasnt pulling into it, or so it seemed.

As they walk into the store, the lady says again " real fuckin cute", but then decides that she needs to take it a little farther with "better check your car when you come out". My sister tells her to fuck herself, and she better not touch that truck, because it doesnt belong to her or my cousin, and the bitch just repeats " better check your car when you come out". To which my sister responds..."fuck you, dont touch the truck".

Now, Im not a mean spirited person, and I have on two occasions keyed someones car. Not saying what I did was justified, but I certainly had more cause and reason than this woman had to do what I did. And if your going to pull something like that, why would you tell the person? In broad daylight, when your almost 100% certain that person is going to either retaliate, or call the cops on you.

I was up in Atlantic City when all of this happened. And I was quite suprised at the story I heard when I got home.

As soon as I get home, my sister says she has to show me something. I say ok, what? I thought she bumped something with my truck, or got into a fender bender or something, and just didnt want to ruin my trip, and decided to wait until I got home to break the bad news.

We go outside, and she shows me a long scratch, all the way across both of my doors. Not too deep to be considered a gouge, but deep enough for you to notice it if I have my truck all nice and spotless.

Apparently, after my sister and cousin walked into the store, this retarded woman gets out of her vehicle, and keys my fucking truck! I couldnt believe what my sister was telling me. My cousin was smart, and grabbed a spare piece of paper and pen I have in my truck, and stuck it in his pocket before he walked into the store. It worked out, because as he went to the manager to ask to call the police, my sister wrote down the womans license plate number.

Needless to say, the police came to the store, wrote up a report on the damage, and went to the womans house with my cousin to comfirm her identity. She confessed to keying my truck, and now I get to spend a lovely day in court tomorrow attempting to get money to get my truck re-painted.

Gotta go a little later today to get an estimate, then see what happens in court tomorrow.

Its an insane world we live in, I guess it was the summer heat that got to the woman, I find it hard to believe anyone would be stupid enough to let the victim know whats going to happen.

Well, wish me luck, I think its going to be an interesting day tomorrow.

Jinx? Eh, maybe....

On the md-poker website I belong to, we have a little section underneath all of our posts that is reserved for a small "signature" if you so choose to use it.

I decided to be cute last week, and put "Good Poker is for Pussies" in it.

Yeah, big mistake.

I went to the Corrall Wednesday night, and proceeded to lose my ass for the first time ever at a poker game.

Usually I go to a game, and only bring between two hundred and three hundred, usually no more than that.

This time, I had money to burn, so I budgeted for five hundred.

Didnt take me very long to burn through that with some overaggresive play against really bad flops in the other players favor.

I dont think that first buyin lasted more than ninety minutes. So I went on the board for two hundred more.

Played better with that buyin, but I was still playing short stack most of the night with that. I eventually got all my money with Jacks against E's flopped set of 10's.

I decided I wanted to try my luck one more time, even though my soul was screaming for me to leave. I borrowed another two hundred from Keenan, and tryed to play better.

But I couldnt get away from the sets flopping against me. I eventually lost to Keenans flopped set of Jacks. That wouldnt have been so bad, but when I went all in after Anne's flop with my Queens on a Jack high board, Keenan pushed all in behind me because he was worried Anne was on a good draw, that it forced Anne out, after which she said good fold, because she too flopped a set. I almost sucked out a straight, but it wasnt going to work that night. I walked out dejected, and really trying to understand why I played so badly, but also lost to alot of outflopped hands. Just plain bad luck mixed with retarded play.

So, right before I leave for E's pink game, I change my signature to "I need to play good poker, Im a pussy!".

I guess that worked, because I played the best pink game of my life last night. I was flirting with a thousand part of the night, when I finally layed down hands I knew I was behind in, and rammed and jammed pots I was fortunate to be ahead in.

One key hand of the night had me flop quads against a Aces full against E. I cant remember my other two cards, but I had sixes in it. Flop came 6/6/A. I bet, got reraised, two others called. Travis might have to correct me, but I do remember capping the flop, turn, and river, with atleast five, then four, then three other people in the pot. I think E wised up on the river, and knew he was behind, but had to call just to make sure.

I had quads twice last night, pretty awesome. I even played till the wee hours of the morning with a good stack in front of me.

I did start getting cold decked around three in the morning. I was down to I believe 45 dollars at one point. That was kind of brutal considering I had 950 at one point in the night.

It got short handed not too long after three in the morning. I think that helped, I made a small comeback. And floated around 400 towards five in the morning.

The last hand of Omaha saw me scoop a huge pot of two hundred or more, and allowed me to cash six hundred fifty for the night. Sweet!

Guess I shouldnt jinx myself, or think im jinxed, because it doesnt work out too good for me.