Monday, February 12, 2007

Twenty minutes seems like forever...

I had a really good outcome at the Pink game last week, so I was really looking forward to playing in this weeks Pink game. So much so that I asked everyone that was "sort-of-locked" if they were coming to play, and if they could bring friends, so I know a game would happen.

E wanted to head up to AC for the weekend, but told the masses if he could get a full game by Thursday, then it would be business as usual.

We eventually got the game full, and E had the game up and running.

I arrived early, and pretty much figured for the night that I would have two rack buy-ins, just in case (one rack=250.00).

Good thing I planned that way, because I needed it. I burned through my initial rack within the first hour (guess Travis is right most of the time). I had good starting hands, but I either couldnt get there, or I would completely miss the flop. First rack just wasnt going to work for me.

When I was down to my last twenty chips or so, I asked E for my add-on. He obliged, and I finally got my act together. I was ramming and jamming pots(some I had no business in anyways). And I was finally getting the flops that I wanted, and finally getting there, which is half the battle sometimes.

I had one HUGE pot of the night in 7 card stud h/l, HUGE! E said I would ofcourse blog about it, and I guess I am, but I dont remember the specifics, except that I had a low draw, a straight draw, and a flush draw, but I needed runner runner to get one of them. I finished the pot by completing two of the three(low, and flush), to scoop a pot that was capped on pretty much every street if I remember correctly. It was sick, very sick. And saw me break the 1000 mark for the first time ever at the Pink game. And stay there.

Maybe five minutes after I won that pot, I looked at my watch. And I noticed the time was 3;51 in the morning. I was wide awake, so I never realized that it was getting very late (for me). And I decided, since I had a good night, it was time to go home.

E ofcourse told me the rules about making a hit and run, and that I should atleast give the table another twenty minutes of courtesy, especially after a sick hand like that. I decided I could stay another twenty minutes without getting involved in too many large pots, and that I would enjoy my win for the night, play one or two more hands, and go home.

Now, if youve read this blog, or you know me, you know I have this thing about voices in my head. I dont think im crazy, but I am able to converse with my conscience from time to time about decisions im about to make.

If you know me, you know I most certainly always listen to my second voice, almost never my first, even though the first voice is correct almost an uncanny amount of the time.

I played past the twenty minutes, didnt get into too many pots. But eventually just got lost back in the game. And stay another two hours. During that two hours, and I lost back my entire profit for the night, and about fifty of my initial buy in that I had brought previously. I was able to pay E back the board, but it came at the cost of the little profit I did have left.

I vowed that this would never happen again. It is now Sunday morning, and I have done alot of soul searching on how I feel I stack up as a poker player.

My conclusions were not good. And I have come to the decision that I am just not that good of a player to deal with losing money like that. It might not have been so bad if I lost one, two, or three hundred of my profit. No, I could live with that. But losing all of my profit, in almost half the time it took to earn it. Just unfathomable. Unless your insanely unlucky, or a bad poker player.

I dont think im a good poker player to begin with, starting with my first love of No Limit Texas Hold'em. But I know I absolutely suck at all the other variations of poker that I have attempted to play. It just seems lately I have been horrible in all aspects.

I have said I was going to retire from this game before. That lasted very shortly, as I was back at the tables within two weeks, if I remember correctly.

This time though...this time. I truly believe I need to let poker go. I am a bad player, and I cannot think of any improvement Ive made within the past year that would make me think I can become a better player. Right now, I am where I am, and thats not looking good in my eyes.

I remember very few hands ive played, I cant remember too many situations that I have been in with players that ive played with for years now. And I always seem to be the only person at the table who doesnt know what the other player is holding, while people are sitting there laughing, because they know im going to lose my entire stack because im wrong.

And I just cant deal with that.

Who knows, maybe Ill come to my senses, and give poker another try in a few weeks. Maybe Ill go to the pink game next Friday. But the way its looking now, I have no passion for poker at the moment. And I truly feel like playing is a waste of my time, because I need to get lucky to win. I am just not a good enough player to deal with the swings, and after a loss, just dust myself off, and say Ill get em next time. Because I am never sure when I am going to have a winning session. Next time never looks promising.

Maybe this is a goodbye. A goodbye to all the people I have met along the way, all the good people, who love this game, and meet the challenges head on. All the people who treat you like a friend. All the people who get under your skin, and compete just as hard as you do for those chips in the pot. Maybe this is just a silly post I will look back on months or years from now, and laugh at how down in the dumps I felt for that weekend, when I let my winnings slip away because I never listen to myself.

Either way, I tell all of you who read this now, who have had the strange loyalty to actually read my stupid ramblings. If I have given you amusement, your welcome. If you enjoyed my insane jabber, your welcome. If you have come to think of me as a friend, because we have mixed chips on the tables together, your welcome. And thank you. There is too many of you to thank for the entertainment at the poker tables, so I will just say thank you to all of you. And I hope you will remember me as a good man, and a thoughtful fish. Amen.

4 Comments:

Blogger Ehonda said...

staying the 30 minutes after a huge hand like that is good etiquette...But you decided to stay longer than that...you played WAY differently after the fact you stayed the 30 minutes, your game completely changed from the first time you were playing, and one of the mistakes was that you didn't want to break up your stacks...that cost you a couple pots for you comin in the hand, a bet and a raise was out there, and your uneven stack wasn't enough to call the bet..so you folded and folded the winning hand....that was one of your worst mistakes...then I don't know if you started playing scared money after wards, not wanting to lose your profits..remember, its not your money till you cash out so play accordingly, but when you started bleeding your stack away, you were not playing the same way you were at the beginning of the night...something to think about....

E

7:52 PM  
Blogger "Ricky" said...

Did you brke even minus 50-100 bucks or did you loose the whole 500 of your initial buy in?? Either way you broke the number one rule in poker, when that lil voice says its time to go guess what its time to go. Give your 20 min warning and roll out. When you learn to discipline your game you enjoy the game a lot more I know I did. So stop crying you lost it happens you made mistake learn from it, dont let one mistake stop you from doing something you enjoy. Suck it up fish!

11:19 PM  
Blogger SoveriegnOne said...

No, I lost all my profit, I was still able to give back E my board, and I lost 50 bucks for the night.

E, thanx for the advice. Im going to do alot of reading again, some nitty gritty reading, and think about where I can improve, and if I want to give it another shot.

Ricky, thanx for being the lovable dickhead who speaks his mind...lol.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ship it Jay, you donkey!

12:08 AM  

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